Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers

Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Welcome ICLW!

A little bit of our story

We were married 7 years ago, in 2003. Way back when. We decided not to try for children right away, rather, we would enjoy a year or two of being together and building our marriage. About a year later, we decided it was time to start trying. Nothing happened, except crushing monthly grief. Month after month, I “knew” I was pregnant and so excited for 2 weeks. Month after month, I was wrong. I think each month the disappointment got worse. Mister told me that it would be OK, we’d try again and it would be OK. We kept trying, I was not pregnant and nothing was OK.

When we finally took ourselves to the doctor after the requisite “12 months of trying and no success” we were given the sad news that we would not be able to conceive. It just wasn’t going to happen for us. The doctors offered to keep testing us in future months, just to see if our bad condition would have improved. We declined.

A funny thing was happening at the same time. In late 2005 and early 2006, even though we had not officially been diagnosed as irreversibly infertile, I was googling the heck out of adoption terms. Even though I was still hoping that we’d be able to have biological children, I was also hoping that we would adopt from China. I started to follow some blogs of families with children adopted from China, and I started to read the Rumor Queen. OK, I kind of became obsessed with adopting from China.

I didn’t know how it would all play out in the future, but when the doctors told us there wasn’t anything they could do, I was pretty OK with that news. “OK, we’ll move on. Next thing, we’ll adopt from China when we’re both 30...” It was that easy. Of course, nothing’s ever that easy and I should have known it.

We weren’t ready to adopt right when we both were 30 and by the time we were 30, China had slowed to an almost halt of their adoption program. In fact, people who received their referrals from China this month sent their dossiers before I even turned 30. If we had submitted our dossiers the moment we were both 30, we’d still be waiting. And we’d still probably be waiting next year and the year after and the year after.

When we finally decided we were ready to adopt, it was just a few months ago. Now we’re 33, we haven’t sent a dossier to China (yet) and we’re instead planning to do a domestic infant adoption. We may still send a dossier to China for #2. Or not. Who knows. Right now, the goal is to finish the homestudy and the profile book for adoption #1 and from there we’ll see where we end up. I have no idea what we’ll do, but the adventure so far has been one heck of a ride, and we’re in it for the long haul.

What a long, strange trip it’s been. I’m sure it’ll only get stranger and longer, but here we are.


  1. why, hello there! It sounds like we have very similar stroies! It's been a rough journey for us, but finding community and comfort in the blog world has really helped.
    your comment totaly felt like a hug :) here is the secret to my choco chip's all about the temp of the margarine (i don't use butter, it makes me feel better about eating 10 cookies in one sitting!) the margarine has to be just soft enough for your finger to leave a slight fingerprint on.the other big secret, and this is huge, is the roll the dough into balls and then freeze them for at least an hour before baking. I bake them for 9 minutes and they are so soft and delish! :)

  2. Hello from ICLW!!

    I am also pretty new to blogging, (Started at the beginning of the year, and this is my first ICLW!)

    Good luck with your domestic adoption. I know several people who have done both and some of them say the adoption process was harder then IVF at some points, but in the end when they are holding their child in their arms it is all worth it!!

    ICLW #97

  3. Like so many others, my husband & I chose to build our family through adoption aftger struggling with infertility. We now have 2 boys, one adopted from Guatemala and one from Korea. Its certainly not the way we had pictured our family "way back when", but we are truly happy and at peace w/our journey...I hope you find the same contentment.

  4. Hi there! Here from ICLW and also beginning to embark on the domestic adoption journey. I really like that you said you're in it for the long haul because that is what it takes for some of us to have a family. It is a long haul but I know some day we'll both hold the babies we are meant to parent!

  5. Welcome to ICLW and to the blogosphere!! I wish you all the best with your adoption journey. Although I was able to succeed through IF treatments and have my family, adoption stories hold a special place in my heart because my twin sister and I were adopted. I now blog to help others with the stress of IF. I just added your link and I am your newest follower! Happy ICLW! (#45 & 46)

  6. Happy ICLW and nice to meet you! This road to parenthood sure has it's twists and turns! Good luck finishing your lifebook and getting ready to hopefully be matched quickly!

  7. Seems like you have a great attitude and I love that! I hope you have great luck in getting your homestudy and all of that jazz done.


    Happy ICLW! #50

  8. You have an amazing attitude about it all. Life does take on a strange path when we are busy planning it all out, doesn't it? Good Luck wih your adoption process!


  9. Good luck on your journey! Thanks for commenting on my blog. :o)