Weird Weekend

Ok, we'll sum it up in 2 sentences.

Saturday, I went to a baby shower for a friend, where another friend told me that she is also pregnant. After the shower, I drove home where I checked Facebook, logged on and saw a pregnancy announcement from yet another friend.

Wha?!? A baby shower for a hugely pregnant friend, where another friend told me about her pregnancy only to go on Facebook and see someone else announce a pregnancy on the same exact day!?!

It's funny. Mister and I have been married a long time. 7 years now. When we were married for 2 years and none of our other friends had kids yet, it seemed like everyone was telling us to have a baby. That was also when we were TTC, so it seemed particularly painful to not be able to be pregnant and it felt like everyone noticed. Now, everyone has babies and kids and no one asks us anymore. I guess people just figure that if we were going to have kids, we'd have done it already.

When our very first friend got pregnant after only trying for a month, when we had been married for 2 years, I cried. I cried that year when any friends got pregnant, any teachers at my school, basically anyone that I knew (even remotely knew) got pregnant, I cried.

Honestly, I'm kinda over it now. Everyone else is (or already has been) pregnant. Whatever. It'll be my turn. Not to be pregnant, of course, but certainly to have a baby. I'm really not worried about it anymore in relation to "but everyone else already has a baby...." As I'm fond of saying to Mister, "If this was a race, we lost." We totally lost that race in 2005 when my first good friend told me she was pregnant. So it never was a race anyway, but if it was, we definitely lost. So whatever. I don't really cry or get upset at pregnancy announcements anymore. Apparently it is what happens to women in their late 20s, early 30s and mid 30s.

But sheesh, 2 announcements on the same day as a baby shower?! Now that's a bit much.

Actually, I've decided to do this as 2 separate parts because the other part is getting super long. Probably most people won't care what my other half of the weird weekend was, so I'll split it out, and if you care, you can keep reading. If you don't care, don't feel compelled to continue!

Social Stuff

Thanks for all the support on my Christmas wish! I just hope it comes true.

I have a quick adoption update and 2 social quandaries to discuss.

Adoption Update - I got an e-mail today from someone at the agency who said that our fingerprints have been received at the agency and that's one more thing we're no longer waiting for. Also, the profile books are scheduled to be delivered to the agency tomorrow. Now they're waiting for the final copy of our home study and a big old check from us. I guess I'll send the check tomorrow. And then, holy moly, I think we're officially waiting. Who knows how long we'll be waiting, but waiting is better than being almost ready to be waiting, no?

Weird Social Situation #1 - This is not a quandary as much as it is just weird, but here it is. I signed up to go to a book club that meets tomorrow night. I'm scared to death. I read the book, and I liked it, but I'm nervous to talk about it. But you know, we moved down here almost 4 years ago, and I have no friends here. I worked with a bunch of great people at my school 2 years ago, but I don't really see them or talk to them that much anymore. They're all busy working in the pressure cooker that is elementary school. I was great friends with them when I worked there, because we were all there 10-12 hours a day and they were really cool people. But now, they're at work 10-12 hours a day, and I'm home. So I figure it can't hurt to do something new that may expand my social circle. But I'm scared to death. But you know that saying? "Do one thing every day that scares you." Well, I know what mine is for tomorrow! Gulp. Mister keeps telling me that the worst thing that could happen is that I go and it's terrible. Then I won't go back next month. And who cares? It's just about trying something new and maybe meeting some new people. So that's my first weird social situation of the night.

Weird Social Situation #2 - This week on Facebook, I reconnected with someone that I haven't seen in probably 9 years. We used to work together, and I left that job 9 years ago, and I really don't think I've seen her since. As with probably any 9 year segment of anybody's life, a lot can happen in 9 years. 9 years ago, I was engaged, I was in grad school, I had a job, we lived in Massachusetts, we hadn't gone through any IF stuff, we definitely weren't home study ready for adoption (woo hoo! I just have to keep throwing that out there because it's so exciting...) So of course, she wrote on my wall tonight, "How are you? What are you up to now?"

I feel like I could go several ways with this. I'm generally a positive, happy person. I'm not a complainer. And most importantly, *NO ONE* in our lives (except for 2 very close friends and one brother) knows about our adoption plans. We are not "out" at all about our IF and adoption stuff. Obviously, we tell people that we don't have kids, but we tend to shut down the conversation there. I'm just not a sharer (funny to think of the cognitive dissonance that allows my non-sharing personality to write a blog.)

But in the last 9 years, I've gone through a lot of crap. A lot of great stuff, too, but it feels like the great stuff is less significant stuff. Except being married. That remains the most incredible thing I've ever done, and Mister remains the most incredible person I know.

So since I last talked to this lady, I finished grad school, got married, got the greatest dog, went through IF crap, moved to Connecticut, got a great job, lost a great job, still have no kids, took some awesome trips, and a bunch of other stuff.

But it's weird because I don't even really know how honest or open I want to be with her anyway. I haven't seen her in 9 years. And I liked her, I liked working with her; she was a lot of fun. But I haven't seen her or talked to her in 9 years. So beyond the "Oh, we're great, live in CT now, keeping busy" filler, maybe it won't even go further. If I ran into her in the mall somehow, that's probably all I'd give her. But because it's Facebook and it's the same space I share with some deep friendships and family, I'm tempted to be open and honest and tell her that it's been 9 years with ups and downs. I don't know. Facebook is weird, man.

How honest would you be with her if you were me?

An assortment

So it's August, it's almost 90 degrees in Connecticut right now and I'm looking at catalogs of fall clothes.

It's weird, because I'm not a cool weather person at all. I hate snow, I hate cold, and therefore, I cannot think of a more miserable time than winter. I hate socks and shoes - I'd wear flip flops or be barefoot all year if it were possible. Connecticut's winters are too cold and wet for that, unfortunately.

But I have to tell you... there is just something satisfying about looking at a catalog of new sweaters and jeans. More than any type of clothes, I love to look at fall clothes.

So yeah, it's 90 degrees, I'm sweating, and I'm looking at jeans, boots and sweaters. As a teacher, September is like my New Year's. I guess I have all those memories of starting anew in new clothes. The weird thing is that since I lost my job and haven't found another one, I have nowhere to wear new clothes anyway. I think I might try to sub this year, so maybe I'll need some new clothes after all.

In other news, I'm on a Nutella kick these days. My goal for tonight is an ice cream sundae with Nutella sauce. I think it'll be good. What better way to celebrate 7 pounds of weight loss in 4 weeks than with ice cream, right? Not that I'm trying to sabotage my success or anything. But you know, everything in moderation.

Anyway, I need to rebound from the last week or so. Since we got home from Colorado last week, I've gotten two Facebook pregnancy announcements and a third friend had her baby. Dear God, what a week. Just when I think everyone who could possibly have a kid already has, another pregnant person appears somehow. And oddly, I have a drastically reduced, pared down social circle as a result. I have like 5 friends. How could 3 of them be pregnant at the same time?!!? Sheesh. So yeah, ice cream for dinner tonight. And just because everyone I know is pregnant and I'm not, I may have a glass or two of wine. So there!

Facebook

Dear Facebook,

I hate you. I hate you for several reasons.

1) I hate that I’m not in charge of opening pictures of people with smiling happy babies when I want. I just log into Facebook and then - BAM! - I’m punched in the face with pictures of babies and everyone gushing how cute and adorable and wonderful the parents are for producing such beautiful children. Yuck.

2) I hate that my friends are not my friends anymore. People “check in” and write on my wall and say hi. Not the kind of “hi, how are you?” that actually sounds like they’re interested in how I am. What am I going to do? Really say how I am and write it on my wall? No way. And anyone who’s really my friend would know that I’m not going to say how I really am when I write on my wall. I miss my friends calling and writing e-mails.

3) I hate the news feed that reads like a toddler itinerary of awesomeness. “Went to park, then a birthday party. Had Gymboree class. Home for nap and then we’re hitting the beach!!11!!!!”

4) I don’t care what the best playground/beach/toddler class/babysitter/stroller/carseat is ranked. I don’t care. I don’t care about private school tuition costs (it’s your choice, after all. Miss Fancypants could attend the neighborhood free public school. Just sayin’.) And I don’t care about Sesame Street Live, Disney on Ice, Hannah Montana, or the Wiggles.

5) I hate reading pregnancy announcements. I hate reading a weekly update that you’re one week pregnant-er than you were last week. I can count, thank you. I hate reading how tired you are, how sick you are, how your pants don’t fit, how much you miss drinking wine and eating hot dogs. Whatever. I’d kill to have those problems.

When I’ve had annoying friends on Facebook before, I’ve hidden them. One guy is a friend from college, whom I don’t really remember from college. I kind of remember him. He’s kind of annoying as a Facebooker though; every day, he posts a ”Good morning everyone!” message, often including some crap about “bright sunny day” or something. Fine, I have a Mister Rogers type on my feed. I hid him quickly. Oh, he also posts a “good night everyone!” message before he leaves the office for the night. Seriously, I’m too crabby for people like that.

Anyway, my problem with parents on Facebook is that most people are parents. I can’t really hide people who talk about their kids. I hide them by hiding myself. Though now I’m completely alienated from most of my friends. So that’s not really a great solution either. Sigh. And that is why Facebook sucks.