I know I've posted about waiting before, and I wasn't fond of it then either. It feels like each new stage of waiting gets harder!
Now we're waiting for the baby to be born. Then we'll have to wait to see if the parents will sign the termination of parental rights.
Then we'll know.
She's due any day now. The baby could come at any moment between now and the next 2 weeks. It absolutely boggles my mind.
In some ways, I'm trying to just live my regular life. If I sat around waiting for the phone to ring, it would be a long and boring 2 weeks. On the other hand, I start to think things like, (True story!) "If I do laundry on the day when I have *absolutely* no clean clothes left, what if she goes into labor while I'm in my sweats and all my clothes are in the wash?" She could go into labor at any time. While I'm doing laundry, while I'm in the shower, while I'm sleeping, while I'm at the store, at any time.
(The day that I had all my clothes in the wash at once, I asked Mister, "What if she goes into labor right now while everything is wet? I'm in pajamas!" Mister, always wise, said, "You'd wear your pajamas straight to the mall where you'd buy an outfit that you could wear to the hospital! And then we'd go!" This is why I love him.)
So while I'm trying to just live my regular life, I also don't want to start anything that's so involved I couldn't just walk away from it. You know, like all my pants in the laundry at once!
In their state, the parents have 15 days to sign TPR. I'm deliriously excited for day 16, if it happens. I'm trying to keep my feet on the ground and not get too excited until then though. This whole thing is all moot if they choose to parent this baby, which, of course, is a possibility. I'm trying very hard to be realistic about all the options. I just don't want to fall in love with a baby who never gets to be ours.
On the other hand, how do you go to the hospital and watch a baby being born and not fall in love? I just don't want to lose my heart to this baby and then have to say goodbye in 2 weeks. So I'm trying to be a little guarded, recognizing that this baby may not be ours.
Some baby will be ours, someday. I kind of hope it's this baby in a few weeks, but life isn't always the way I hope.
In the meantime, I think I'm going to clean my house and get ready. Just in case I have to go to the hospital soon...
Has anyone been in the delivery room as an adoptive parent? Anyone know what I can expect?
I think (when it happens to us) we will have the same mental anguish about the waiting after the match happens for the baby to actually make it into our arms. I had not had the nightmare about the lack of clean clothes (yet) but I have had nightmares where the baby is here, laying in the middle of our bed, and we have nothing for it. No clothes, no diapers, no bottles, no formula, no passies, no blankets, nada! Since that time I have since purchased all of these things and have them in the closet. Maybe you should get a "going to the hospital" outfit to keep in the closet for such an emergency!
ReplyDeleteoh goodness, yes! the waiting is so hard, as are the unknowns...thinking about you and waiting with you! can't wait to hear more!
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